Relationships: A man needs an indicator

I was thinking about the relationship between a man and a woman. At the same time, beer was migrating from the refrigerator to my belly and on to the grassy spot in the back yard.

The general consensus among couple's therapy books seems to be: men need sex the most and women need attention the most. This I pondered deeply.

How does a woman know when her man has had the sex need fulfilled? It is obvious to even the most casual of observer. A man's cock pukes up the fluid from below. If a woman provokes this response in a man, one to three times a week, ole boy has his need met.

But what about a woman? How does a man know?

Questions were rolling in my head when my wife came home from work. She finds me in the back yard. I've got a beer in one hand and my penis in the other. I am putting an application of urine on a rose bush.

I look at my wife and ask my nagging question.

"Honey, could I get you to spit on me when you've had enough attention?"

The combination of the question itself and my watering of the flora throws her into a loop. She gives me the most quizzical face. "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Well," as I zip up my pants. "I got to thinking. It is easy for you to tell when I have had enough sex."

"Yes, you fall asleep."

"Exactly! You have an indicator. I need a way to tell when you have gotten enough attention from me."

"You want me to spit?"

"My dick spits at you when I've had enough. Baby, when you think about it, equality in our relationship can only be achieved if you spit on me like a llama."

"When I have had enough attention, you want me to spit on you like a pack animal from South America?"

"It's only fair!"

She lights a cigarette and shakes her head in disbelief. "You're taking me out to dinner; try that on for an indicator."

Dirty Ert